Trust
by Vampiric Hyde
Summary: Mulder's been keeping a secret from Scully... Set immediatly after the finale. Don't read if you don't care for sdome sort of death.


Trust

Author's Note: I just saw the finale... This takes place pretty much at the end. It's... yeah. I don't own any of the characters, etc...

"I believe there is hope," Mulder said softly, directing his voice into Dana's ear.

At that moment, the two were closer than ever before. They were together again, and they'd been through a lot. Though they'd been separated, Mulder knew that Dana felt that she had been with him through everything, that they shared the same pain. She seemed to believe that it joined them.

It was fine that she felt that way. Maybe they had shared some of the same experiences. They'd been through a lot Dana with the kid, himself with, well, a lot. More than she knew, but that was all right. She didn't need to know yet.

Sometimes withholding information was better. At one time, he would've strongly resisted this idea, but now he realized that it was valid and held quite a bit of truth. Certain ideas and occurrences could be destructive, especially if revealed at the wrong time.

Of course, the bit of news he had to tell her wasn't going to be easy for her no matter what. He'd already decided to do it that night He had to. Had to end the secret. Because he did love Dana It was for her own good. She had to know. She had to know before Before certain things happened.

Things. Sure. That was a great way of putting it So incredibly sensitive. It was the first word that had occurred to him, however, and it somehow seemed to fit perfectly. After all, the "thing" was ambiguous.

Dana snuggled against him, rubbing his back slowly, comfortingly. Sort of comfortingly. He couldn't really be comfortable until he told her. Until he'd done what he had to.

"Yes there is hope," Dana echoed silkily. He could feel her smiling warmly, and for a moment felt a deep hurt inside of him.

Hope. There was hope Sure. Was there really? How could Dana believe it? After she'd spent so much time looking at hopeless cases, after she'd seen the corruption, after she'd given up her own son How could she believe in hope?

She was strong. Stronger than she liked to admit. He knew it, and he was sure that she knew it somehow. She wanted to believe in hope and she wanted to believe that there was something to live for, so she did. That was one of the reasons that he had fallen for her Her sense of belief, love, and hope.

But really, how much hope was there for the world? Human beings could be weak. Human beings were weak. They couldn't possibly stand against the events that were about to occur. Not even a strong human could Humans were simply a weak race, especially compared to the aliens.

The worst part, for the longest time, was that there had seemed to be no way out. For a while he had been held up from returning by his search for a way out, for a way to resist the inevitable. He had thought that he'd never find it for a long time. He'd been close to giving up, in fact.

Then he'd found a way out. He'd realized that there was a way to fight the truth, to fight being pushed to his end by aliens. There were only two ways. One was death, and he'd been trying to avoid that option. The other had been harder to find, and he'd taken it almost immediately.

Lately, in the past couple of days, he'd wondered if it was the right decision. When he first looked at Dana in the cell, looked at her peaceful, happy form, he had begun to have doubts. As the days had passed, however, the doubts had begun to wear thin He was almost certain that they were completely dulled by that time.

"Hope" he muttered absently.

Yes, hope was what he had found. Maybe not hope for the human race, but hope for those who wanted to continue to seek, to find, to have a chance to change the truth. Hope, hope, and more hope.

"Mulder," Dana said slowly, looking him straight in the eyes, "where were you all of that time? You were gone for so long that I" she trailed off.

He understood what she was asking, and understood why. He hadn't said anything, really Not besides New Mexico, and she couldn't possibly believe that he'd spent his entire time there. She wasn't ignorant, and she knew him.

How to tell her? He took a deep breath that was almost a sigh, and then began slowly, "I was doing some research Trying to find something."

"The truth?" Dana asked, the smile on her lips taking on a knowing look.

"Of course," he said, managing a wink. "A way to survive, to continue."

"Typical Mulder," she said, planting a kiss on his lips.

He smiled at her as she drew back. She was so trusting of him. "That's what I love about you Scully And I have a question before I answer yours."

"No fair asking before you've answered," she said, without any real protest. She was joking around, that was all.

"How did you trust me when everything was falling apart?"

She was trusting, so trusting. After she'd learned about betrayal, after she'd learned that someone could attack at any time She continued to trust him. How? Why? What allowed her to do so?

Her eyes revealed a bald truth as she spoke, "I love you, Mulder. You know that I love you, and I trust you because I know you. Because I do love you."

He smiled, and drew her into an embrace. "Thank you."

"Now, my question deserves an answer," Scully said, running her fingers over his shoulders.

Mulder tensed slightly as her fingers ran over his shoulders, but he made himself speak. "I needed to find a way to keep going, to find what I've been looking for," his voice quieted slightly as he felt her fingers travel up to his neck, "and when I found it, I took it."

He wasn't surprised when Dana gasped and sat up suddenly, drawing away from him. He sat up slowly, surprised that she hadn't jumped out of the bed. Her gun was nearby Then again, she'd know that it was no good.

"Mulder you're you're" Dana gasped, her eyes wide.

"I am," he said, slowly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He could feel the vertebra, the implant. It was a new sort, of the same type but less vulnerable to certain Metals.

"Why?" she said, sounding as if she were about to burst into tears. In fact, Mulder could see tears running slowly down her cheeks.

"It was the only way," he said, staring fixedly at her. "It was the only way to survive, to overcome, to find the truth."

"How could you?" she gulped audibly. "I trusted you, Mulder. How could you?"

"The truth, Scully What we've worked for. What we've dedicated our lives to," he said firmly. He didn't really expect her to understand completely She was against it completely. He could see that. It left him with an awful task But the alternative was worse.

"They're coming for us, Scully. Eventually, we'll all be like them, we'll be their servants, or we'll be killed. That's the truth, and the only way to change it is to become like them," he slid closer to her, but she didn't seem to notice.

"Mulder you you" she didn't seem to be able to find her vocabulary. Again, he wasn't surprised. He hadn't told anyone about the operation, about become a hybrid.

"We aren't super-soldiers, Scully. We're aliens. We are almost what they are, and they cannot destroy us. That's the only way to the truth."

She looked at him, her eyes glazed over slightly. "I trusted you. I waited for you. I loved you."

"Scully, I love you, too. That's why I have to do this Don't you see? Your choices are limited. If they come, they'll destroy you, force you to be what you don't want to be. I cans top that. It's not easy, but Scully" he slid over even closer to her, until their bodies were nearly touching. "I love you."

"Stop," she said, lowering her head into her hands. "Please, stop."

Mulder pulled a syringe from his pocket slowly. Dana's eyes flashed with understanding when she saw it. "Mulder, please"

"I have to, Dana. This is what the truth is. This is what it's about. I need to save you" he kissed her on the forehead, feeling her nearly petrified body tense further.

Before Dana could speak again, Mulder had plunged the needle into the skin on her arm. He watched it passively, jamming the thin, metal point into her arm. Dana's eyes bulged, and her veins seemed to pulse for a moment Then she fell forward and into his arms, limp as a rag doll.

Mulder pulled the needle out of her arm slowly. It didn't seem to want to come out, but he managed, then tossed it aside indifferently. For a moment, he fixed his eyes on Scully, on her face. She was dead But it had been quick. It had been better than what was coming.

She was lucky. He felt no regret, because he knew that he had saved her Hadn't he? Something inside of him wondered, but he shoved it away. Of course he'd saved her. It'd been obvious. Who couldn't understand that? He'd had to do it

Her pale, deadened face stared up at him serenely. It was time for him to leave Slowly, he bent forward and kissed the woman who had been his partner tenderly, though she couldn't feel it. "Goodbye, Dana," he whispered, laying her back on the bed.

Standing slowly, he looked around. Yes, it was time for him to leave. He needed to be elsewhere. There were places to go, things to do So much.

He walked out and never looked back. He couldn't look back but, moreover, he didn't need to look back. He had said goodbye, and he didn't have a reason to return. She had been the last trusting person. He was on his own, and she was gone. He had one last thought, one memory of her standing beside him in the rain. He dashed it away, however, giving one final sentence toward it.

"Never trust anyone, Dana," he muttered. "Never trust anyone"


End file.
